I think this about covers it?

Does it seem like every time you try and post a question or


comment to a dog list, you get yourself into trouble? If so, then


this list is for you. If you religiously follow all of the rules


on this Official DON'T list, you'll never get in trouble again.





The Official Dog Enthusiast's DON'T List





DON'T let your dog sleep in your bed. It will cause aggression


problems down the road.





DON'T make your dog sleep in a crate. Crate is just another word


for small cage.





DON'T let your dog sleep outside at night. If God had wanted dogs


to sleep outside, he would have covered their body with hair to


keep them warm.





DON'T let your dog sleep. You should be playing with him all the


time.





DON'T keep more than two dogs. Each individual dog requires


considerable time and energy, and it is impossible for a


responsible dog owner to spend quality time with more than two dogs.





DON'T keep less than five dogs. Dogs are pack animals, and five


dogs is the minimum number for proper socialization.





DON'T feed your dog kibble. Kibble is the invention of evil


capitalists who want your money, and kibble has no nutritional


value whatsoever. You might as well feed your dog sawdust.





DON'T cook your dog's meat or chicken. Cooking destroys all the


nutrients.





DON'T feed your dog raw meat or raw chicken. Raw food contains


salmonella, e-coli, and other harmful bacteria.





DON'T let your dog drink out of a plastic bowl. It will turn his


nose pink.





DON'T post messages to a dog list. You will surely get bopped on


the head for thinking that someone else cares about your silly


little opinions.





DON'T poke your eye with a sharp stick. It has nothing to do with


dogs, but it's a good rule nonetheless.





DON'T microchip your dog. A nearby cell phone can cause a


microchipped dog to explode, or so says the lady running the


tattoo booth.





DON'T tattoo your dog on the ear. A dog thief will cut off the


tattooed ear.





DON'T tattoo your dog on the thigh. He'll be a tripod before you


can say Ginsu.





DON'T keep a collar on your dog when unattended. He could get


caught on something and choke.





DON'T leave your dog unattended without a collar. He could run


away without any identification.





DON'T transport your dog in a plastic crate. Plastic crates don't


allow sufficient air flow.





DON'T transport your dog in a wire crate. In a car accident, a


wire crate transforms into a doggie skewer. On days you plan to


have a car accident, it is acceptable to use a plastic crate.





DON'T let your dog drive. It's against the law in many states.





DON'T enter your dog in conformation. It's b-o-r-i-n-g for the dog.





DON'T enter your dog in obedience. It's B-o-r-i-n-g with a


capital"B."





DON'T enter your dog in agility. The jumps will injure his joints.





DON'T send your dog out with a handler. Only a psychopath would


send their beloved pet with a complete stranger.





DON'T handle your dog yourself. You've got a great dog, and he


deserves a much better handler than you will ever be.





DON'T get a purebred dog. Too much inbreeding has produced dogs


with temperament and health problems.





DON'T get a mutt. You don't know anything about their pedigree.


In fact, if you're thinking about getting a dog, get a cat instead.





DON'T don't. That's right, you heard me, just don't!





DON'T leave your dog's dewclaws intact. He will rip one off


jumping a log or something, which is quite painful.





DON'T remove your dog's dewclaws. Dewclaws are acupuncture points


that are needed for proper functioning of the kidneys.





AND, the #1 DON'T .....





DON'T trim your dog's whiskers. Dogs use their whiskers to


determine the size of their head, which is important when they


are out shopping for a new hat.|||I think you forgot one:





DON'T make a joke poking fun at the obsessive and often contradictory nature of 'giving dog advice' lest someone take it seriously and be offended!





;)|||Now,now.....you KNOW that the dimwits who post here are so UTTERLY BRAINLESS that they'll take this SERIOUSLY!!!





The "gospel" according to Yahoo dawgs!





LMFAO!|||This is good.





I agree!|||I don't know where you got this list from, but it is to funny!!!





Yep...it covers everything!!! LOL!|||Best question I've ever seen on here!!!!





Jenise B's answer almost as funny!!|||I don't know you but you've mad me giggle within 5 minutes of waking up. Your my hero. rotflmao!!!!!|||Wheeeee....that was fun!





Perfect for a Monday morning!





Thanks Miriam!|||You really need to take it down a notch. People get so riled up and the freaky people will jump down your throat for no reason..... take a chill pill!|||DON'T even think this about covers it!|||Wow, you have quite a bit of time on your hands, huh?|||LOL Wow think maybe I should get out of the owning of many dogs? and get out of having dogs period according to that list lol!





Guess peeps (from the thumbs down up there) can not laugh at themselves hu?? Some peeps take themselves way to seriouse...


Thanks for the laugh!!|||that list makes no sense! it contra ***** itself! dont have more than 2, but dont have less than 5?? i let my dog sleep in my bed shes fine. and i also have more than 2. that list is for crazy people that probably have robot dogs.|||How about don't create false generalizations out of answers offered to specific people's questions and try to make it seem like nobody knows what they're talking about?